love all this | Inspired by jeannr, I flowcharted the Beatles….

That’s how long it will be until my son comes home from his first tour with the USMC.  Here’s hoping he comes home to his mentally exhausted mother safe and sound.

The title is in reference to Tasra’s Day Five Post and her observation that the safety spiel that airlines do at the beginning of the flight might apply for life in general as well.

I could really use a flight attendant in my life right about now. I have had the chorus to Lady Antebellum’s song Run to you running through my head for the past few months….but it’s been an especially loud chorus the past few weeks.

“This world keeps spinning faster
into a new disaster so I run to you”

Between the fostering of my second grandbaby and the birth (today) of the third grandbaby, plus the raising of my own set of 7 year old twins, plus the co-raising of my youngest daughter and my niece and nephew….and the job hunt….sometimes I just look at Keith and ask him if the ride is over yet…can I go home? Oh wait hon, you ARE home.

So without further ado, here is today’s challenge (courtesy of Tasra)

“TODAY’S CHALLENGE

1. How would you rate your health in each of these four areas?

• Spiritual
• Physical
• Emotional
• Relational

2. What’s the greatest challenge to improving your health in these areas? 

3. Write down a specific goal for each of these four areas that you can pursue during the rest of this month. Make sure the goals are SMART. ”

Spiritual Health: I’d have to say that I am content with my health in this aspect…I have faith that what is meant to be is meant to be. There are lessons to be learned in life and whomever is up there and in charge of the big picture (and yes, Kids, there is always a BIG PICTURE) put challenges in our path to learn the lesson’s not to stop them. I can get through this….I have faith in that fact even when I don’t have faith in my abilities to do so. Yes I see the contradiction in that sentence but it’s still valid. I know I will, I just don’t always know how….

Greatest challenge: I want to learn more. I want more knowledge of other beliefs….my basic faith is there, but I have always chafed at the old dogma and rhetoric that “organized” religion often sees.

Goals: Once my bandwidth is up, I want to read more online about different belief systems.

Physical Health: Eh, could be much better. I’m a robust woman with a small country that resides in the general vicinity of my butt and hips. My knees are feeling the strain of supporting aforementioned population. I have had chronic lower back pain for the past 20 years. Oh and I have sleep apnea. On the plus side, my blood pressure is steady and I am not diabetic, despite my family history of type 2 at around my age. Basically if I lost about 100 lbs, I’d be good.

Greatest Challenge: My brain. I’m physically pretty lazy. I wouldn’t say I’m sloth like, and it’s not like I can’t keep up with my kids and my job as a Mom. But given a choice, I’d probably sit and read a book or watch the Food Network rather than go on a two mile walk. I’m not mentally lazy, but it’s fair to say I need to get off my butt more.

Emotional Health: I have said before that I look at things in a dual brained way….I have been fighting diagnosed clinical depression for my entire adult life. With the job loss, and the resulting loss of insurance, I am working through my life and the stress unmedicated, which is a challenge. I can find my way through any issue using my logic but then I also find myself feeling the tears well up on the back of my eyes sometimes too….and if asked I can’t tell you why I am on the verge of tears.

Greatest Challenge (and Goal): Sometimes I need to give myself permission to lose it and cry or be angry or whatever. I’m a control freak and it’s hard to just let go. But if I Don’t then I can get to wound up and then just snap. Better to deal with it as needed to then to just explode.

Relational Health: For the most part, I’d have to say that I’m doing well with my relations…I worry about being to hard on my daughters especially Birdie…she’s got the signs of ADHD, which both of her brothers had…my life with Keith is evening out, we still aren’t married (rats!) but we have been together for 9 years come September 3^rd. That’s got to count for something. As with any romantic relationship you have your rough spots and lack of trust. The Trick is to work past the negative and never give up. I believe the man is my soul mate, that has never changed. But it’s about communication.

Greatest Challenge (and Goal): Because of my previously admission of being a control freak the biggest challenge I have is to remember that not everyone communicates the same way or that everyone processes emotions and issues the same way. I’m pretty in your face about things but the people in my life need to process slowly…I have to keep this in mind so that I don’t keep pushing…..say what needs to be said, then let it go and revisit later if needed.

That’s it for now, I’m exhausted….G’night.

Once again Life interfered with my challenge posts….but I have a good excuse.

I’m a grandma again. Yes, indeed….Ms. Cloe Anne was born this morning. This is my third grandbaby by my (step)son. Love that boy dearly but he is probably responsible for the majority of white hair that I have sprout from my punkin head.

I told him that I’m only 38, and already a three time Nana….Don’t tell him this but I’d have it no other way, really.

But don’t tell him that…Please..It is much more amusing to harass him about it.

It would figure that while I was self committed to post double posts to catch up, my bandwidth on my satellite connection is maxed out. Completely.

My oldest daughter (22 years old) is horribly irritable about it.

Be that as it may….

So I re-read Tasra’s Day 4 post, and there were several things about it that spoke to me….But first the questions:

· In what area are you struggling the most to change? Is it weight loss, health, bad habits, relationships?

· What are your current barriers to spiritual health and connection to your Creator?

Areas of opportunity:

That is what they call it in a call center environment. It’s never “things you need to fix” or “this is where you are sucking wind” or “these are your deficiencies.” No they are “Areas of Opportunity.” I’d have to say that my biggest area of opportunity is dealing with my control freak nature and the size of my butt. No I’m not being horribly flip. I am the biggest control freak I know. But I use my powers for good. Honest.

I try hard to realize that I can’t fix everything. But realizing it when I can, still doesn’t preclude my attempts to fix everything regardless. I can’t help it. It’s in my nature. I have been seriously referred to at work by co-workers as “Da Momma.” It’s a condition.

Be that as it may, it’s a part of who I am. The best thing I can do is to realize that I can’t fix it, but the issue that I have with that is that it’s a double edged sword. I have spent the past several years identifying myself as Ms. Fix it and Da Momma so that if I stop I feel like I have lost this huge part of myself, and yet that attitude is causing me to overextend myself emotionally and mentally, to point where I feel like I don’t have my own personal identity.

Barriers:

Hehe, see the above statement. I tell everyone that I am probably pagan. I say that because I take some many of my tenets of faith from one culture or another. I believe that everyone needs to have faith in something….I believe that there are higher powers. Sounds fairly Western Christian…Until I mention that I believe that There is a God and a Goddess …ying and yang….black and white…light and dark…I believe that all that is good has to be balanced and all that is bad has to be balanced. It just makes sense to me. Perhaps you agree, perhaps you don’t. I’m pretty okay with it if you aren’t…pretty okay if you do…it works for me and that’s what matters to me.

But regardless the difficulty in letting go and letting my pair of creators take control and have faith in them, I tend to keep my control in a death grip close to me.

Being dual brained about this, I can see where it is damaging me and that I’m not letting my higher powers doing their jobs, but I can’t just let go.