Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Day Two–Internal Critics.

August 8, 2009

1. Answer this: If you were certain your life would end in 30 days, what would be your biggest regret? Why?
2. Analyze this: What area of your life are you suffering from Someday Syndrome? (SS=one day, when, if only)
3. Realize this: Today IS your Someday!
4. Choose this: What metaphor would describe your life if you were fully awake and engaged?
5. Find this: Find a symbol to represent your metaphor and post it somewhere to remind you.

Biggest Regret:

My biggest regret would be that I always seem to be second guessing myself.  How many times have I failed to seize an oppurtunity because I let my dual brained nature rationalize the possibilities? How many negative or painful consequences could I have avoided?  How many lost moments with my older children who are now adults.

someday Syndrome:

MY time always is impacted by the SS.  I will have the family history documented as far back as possible.  Someday.  I will write enough to support my family, or at least enough that I don’t have to work outside the home. Someday.  I will take time for myself.  Someday.  I will have a hugely popular and well read  blog.  Heh, yeah, Someday.

My Metaphor:

There is a scene in Shawshank Redemption where Andy Dufresne escapes from prison by crawling through 500 yards of sewage and comes out the other side, standing in the middle of a drainage ditch, and raises his hands, and looks to the sky with his eyes closed, with the rain washing the filth from his skin and clothes.  That is the key moment in a movie that has more then it’s share of symbolic moments.  I’d like to think that when I stop second guessing myself and I stay focused on ME, and what I need to do for me, separate from my family and my home…then it’ll be like the rain, washing the fear that often reeks and poisons the soul, from my skin.

Hmmm..that almost sounded profound.  Or perhaps that is my internal critic second guessing what I just wrote.  Tough, internal critic.  I’m posting this.  If it moves someone else, great….if not, oh well…I’m not going to second guess this one.


30 days to live challenge

August 6, 2009

I have been invited by Tasra Dawson over at Real Women Scrap to participate in a month long challenge.

What would you do if you only had one month to live.

I’m going to join in…Will you?

I am a five days late…so I think I’m going to start with day one today, then I’ll just run 5 days behind

Siblings up on high…

August 1, 2009

I was visiting Mary over at OwlHaven and I saw her latest post. It reminded me of how younger siblings can put older siblings up on a pedestal. I think it only happens after you have multi generational children. My son was 13 when the twins were born and I have to admit, with my working, I most likely depended on him way to much with raising them. The boy was a natural at diaper duty though.

The girls still think he walks on water. Thankfully, being in the Corp, he has finally realized this and actually appreciates the position he holds in their lives.

Aiyana, Damian and Caitlyn

It only took 5 and a half years and a year in the USMC.


July 30, 2009

So I walked into work today and three hours later I was sitting in HR with my HR director and direct supervisor being told that as much as I was liked by my peers and other supervisors, they coudln’t just create an alternate position for me.

After almost five years with the company..


I called the hubby first..and apologized before I even said hello in tears.  After an hour I thought I was doing well until I called my most bestest wonderfulest friend in the world, Jael…who is a Mary Kay consultant. For those uninitiated into the world of Mary Kay, this week in Dallas is their annual “seminar.” This is where all of the consultants get together, meet the National Directors and such and basically have a very empowering experience. So an hour after I left work I sent her a text message basically saying that I had lost my job. She called me immediately and after about 5 minutes of mindless phone tag because still had my phone on “work mode/vibrate,” she told me that she loved me and that she was sorry….and then proceeded to tell me that she had walked out of a National Directors speech to call me, because I was that important to her.

That’s the sign of a true friend, someone who can make you break down and cry just by saying “You mean that much to me.”

I then sent Keith another text about an hour after that and said that I had been granted a $19 voucher from the local food co-op. I mentioned that it was the high point of my day. He reminded me that the high point of my day was waking up this morning knowing that he and my children were alive and well.

“Simplify” he wrote.

And that’s what it pretty much boils down to…simplify.

Growing up…

July 17, 2009

I am all kinds of confuzzled today….My 19 year old son (who is in the Marines, Semper Fi, thankyouverymuch) had surgery on his wrist last night and I was rather vexed that I couldn’t be there for him.  He was however kind enough to send me a picture message Post-op of himself with the subject of “Well, I’m still alive.”

Sometimes I think I need to thawamp that boys mother for raising such a smart ***.  Then reality kicks in and I realize that I don’t have it in me to thawamp myself.

My precious girls are losing their baby teeth left and right.  Last night my Buggaboo, the youngest of the two girls by one minutes lost her second top front tooth.  I’m not sure who was more upset, her for having to work the tooth out, or me which I looked at her toothless smile and realized that another one of my babies is growning up.  Then she insisted that I take a picture on my phone of her smile to send to the previously mentioned big brother.

I was fine until I woke up at 5 AM this morning and realized that I had gone to bed without exchanging the tooth for the dollar (to show that the Tooth Fairy had shown up and taken the tooth.  Panicked, I snuck in the girls bedroom and carefully made the exchange, all the while trying to shush our toy poodle who seems to think that the bedroom is actually her domain and she just lets the girls sleep there.

Another Childhood Myth disaster averted. 

I was spent.  At 5 AM. 

Oy vey.


My Obsession.

July 10, 2009

I can’t help it.  I see dead people everywhere.  I have books of my father’s family that go back to 1700, in one, line and 1600 in another, I have my mother’s family back to 1600 in France.  I’ve even decided to step up and trace my husbands family line back to Norway and to prove that he has an ancester directly related to Bonnie Parker.  I see Dead People.  I see them trying to show me who they are and how they lived.  I see old black and white scanned pictures of men and women that have contributed to my gene pool but have never met me.  I have been known to wake up at two AM, thinking of a new search criteria to find another dead ancestor.

I don’t know when I developed this obsession, but I am relieved to know I am not the only person out there who sees dead people.  I know why I see them.  I want my children and grand children to have an idea where they come from, who they might have been…

Imagine my shock 7 years ago when I realized that the precious baby that I had  planned for was actually a PAIR of beautiful mirror image girls….There were no instances of twins in my family or my husbands….or so I thought….

My great-great aunts were twins.  Hmmmm.  Like I said, I see dead people everywhere.  I see them in the eyes of my girls, or in a mannerism.  My grandaughter is staying with us temporarily, and apparently she has developed my raising of the eyebrow.   That mannerism has been passed down for at least 4 generations in my life time, and rumored to have been present in two more generations. 

Sometimes to see where we need to go, we need to have a clear understanding of where we have been.  I hope that my girls grow up sharing my obsession with personal family history.

Parental Accountability….

March 23, 2009

Once Again, this post was inspired by CNN.

There is an article with an excerpt by Jack any case, the article has Cafferty’s perceptions that parents are not taking responsibility for their children….Wait, let me clarify, they are not accepting accountability for their Children. Here’s a quote:

“Parents’ growing inability to impose manners and limits on their kids when the kids are in school is reflected in record dropout rates, as well as teen drug and alcohol abuse, teen sex, and unwed pregnancies. Maybe it’s parenting that’s on the decline, more than the schools. “

I agree with this. Parents have given up on raising their children with disipline….but whereas Cafferty pretty much chalks this up to “it has to do with the breakdown of authority, the collapse of strong family structure, and the abdication of parental responsibility, dictated in part by the necessity that both parents work.” I believe there is some truth in this, but his point actually makes mine as well.

The reality is that we are a society of extremists. In a matter of 50 years we have gone from corporal disipline in the home to “time outs.” We went from children being un-spared by the rod, to realizing that sometimes parents went overboard and that was abuse, to those children growing up and out of rebellion and out of spite, deciding to do the opposite and go into uber-“nuture” mode and placate their children.

Don’t get me wrong. My dad was strict. My dad went overboard to the point where I had bruises on my backside more often then not. Did I deserve it? Who knows. I didn’t think of myself as a bad kid…but I lack the parental perspective on my kidself. But dad, right wrong or indifferent taught me something about accountability and responsibility.

I know children today in my family that didn’t have that kind of disipline and I do believe that there is a correlation between a lack of disipline and the lack of control and bounderies that most children today have….I’m not saying that beating your kids is the way to go…if you don’t feel right spanking, I’m okay with that BUT you have to counter that with something that teaches accountability.

Cafferty is correct…no child is more special then another. To us, yes they are, but to society? No. I hope that more parents start to understand that we are raising a generation of narsicisstic children who have no concepts of bounderies….What’s funny to me is that when I was growing up as a teen ager and a young adult, all I heard was that corporal punishment only teach violence and that disipline was not the way to go, that it bred devient behavior.

So what does raising a child with no concept of boundries breed?

Parenting is not easy and those pesky kids don’t have the common courtesy to come with an owners manual, but at some point parents have to actually take the time to RAISE their children, not just coddle them. There has to be a middle ground between the velvet glove and the iron fist. The trick is to find it.

Spread the word–> Lizzie Bell and the power of One Pint

March 23, 2009

So Keith and I will occassionally watch Ty’s folks on Exreme Makeover Home Edition. Well last night one of his co-workers called and told him that he had to watch last nights episode because if featured a local family from Tucson, The Bells. Here’s the gist behind the the show. Anyway, I’m such a sap and I gotta say, this little girl is one smart cookie. Unbelievably so. And it doesn’t stop there…her little sister (who is two years younger and already 3 inches taller then Lizzie) is a very sweet little girl (of twelve) who loves sports. I think the thing that got to me the most was a comment that the Dad made during one of the segments. He told on of the Makerover folks that he had just sold his truck to pay some bills and that he felt that he had failed in taking care of his family. Whoa…This is a man who has a child that has special needs and he has spent the past 14 years taking care of this child to the best of his ability, spending thousands and thousands on medical care and he has failed? I SO completely think not.

I’m babbling again, aren’t I? Back to the show. In any case, this amazing little girl (of 14, it’s all relative to me)has a rare blood disorder, and her life depends getting transfusions every few weeks. She has made it her goal to help spread the word about donating blood. She also helped found create “Lizzie’s Loot” a program that collects toys for children who are in the hospital.

Anyway, DO me a favor, Visit this little girls family’s site The John P Bell foundation and take a look. And for Lizzie, Go donate a pint of blood. You’ll save a life…perhaps one day your own.

If you have a blog of your own and you read this, Give a mention about Little Miss Lizzie and what she is asking us to do. Spread the word.

Sunday Cruising….

March 22, 2009

So Keith and I usually take Sunday morning and go out to the little flea market (called a swapmeet, in Tucson) and putz around…he gets to look for WWII collectibles and I get to expand my library of mindless reading…topped off with a killer Chile Rellano burro from one of the little vendors out named Sergio. Now Sergio and I have a this ongoing thing where he gets our food and we eat and then I get up to go and forget to pay….he’s pretty laid back about it…Keith gets more antsy about it…and he doesn’t really have any set price…I mean he has them listed on the wall but to be honest..we get the same thing every week and we don’t pay the same each week…it kinda depends on his mood…and how good his day has gone so far. Back to the story…

I ordered today same as always…Carne Asada burro (just meat, and salt please) for Keith, a Chile Rellano burro for me and two orders of Pan bread. Today Sergio brought me the burros and I waited. I turned around and asked him “Sergio? did you forget the Pan bread?” Naturally he was blushing that he did forget…I told him not to worry that he was just paying me back for the times that I have forgotten to pay him…it was “you had to be there” humor.

So I came home and checked my blogs stats as I do every time I log in….and I noticed that my traffic from yesterday’s post all came from a new referrer……interesting….it’s like flipping through the guide on a the TV in in 5 minutes or less…when you go to the site, it starts this surfing thing where you visit the blog for a few second just to see if you might be interested….then you can bookmark for later viewing. The site will then move onto the next site…We shall see if it’s a site that’s good to me…lol…

I’m feeling old today…maybe I will go take a nap. And actually take one instead of just talking about it.

Thursday Musings

March 5, 2009

So I visited Thursday Thunks for an idea on something to write as I avidly avoid actually working today….I didn’t like any of the potential topics for this week but I liked one from last week so here we go…

You open your front door and there is a box with a puppy in it… what do you do?

Answer: RUN!!!! Shut the door before the children see anything even resembling cute, fluff/furry bits of puppyness. Now lest y’all think I don’t love puppies, I can appreciate them. I prefer kittens but I’m not against puppies.

Except that I have too damn many to begin with…..I have a chow/German Shepard mix, a black lab, a neurotic Weenie dog, a boxer, and a moody wolf.

And with the exception of the weenie dog, they have all been found puppies. Don’t even get me started on the cats we have inherited. I am to the point now where I have said “no more critters.”

I suspect this resolve will last only until the next time Keith or one of the kids comes home with a little furball hissing/spitting/panting/drooling wrapped up in old towel or jacket and I’m gazed up on with the standard “boo-boo lip” expression and I hear the words “But Mommie/But Babe….”

Yes, it is possible

March 5, 2009

So even when I slack on updating my blog myself, I never miss visiting Mary over at Owlhaven. The woman is a Goddess on earth, full of humor and wisdom, and she’s probably the biggest reason why I started blogging again. She has managed again to astound me with her time management skills (Yes Mary, it takes skill to keep all of your hair attached to your scalp and live on 2-4 hours of sleep….) and has published a book entitled A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family. If you have children (at all people, you don’t need to have a small country sized family to enjoy the wisdom in this book) at all or are thinking of having children, Run, don’t walk, over to Amazon and BUY THE BOOK!!!!!!

I think my favorite gem from the book is on page 84. “Humor is one of a parents most powerful allies.” My husband has no issues teaching from a point of silliness, even resorting to fart humor to get his point across. Myself, it takes a little work to utilize my dry sense of humor into the appropriate level of silliness to get point across.  But it will work.   Just ask Mary.

Big Brother is watching….

February 12, 2009

So I know that I have been seriously slacking on my posting and I decided to make use of the “Daily Meme” link (it’s the big button over there to the left, yeah that’s the one) on my page and do my very first Meme post. I ended up at Thursday Thunks and started reading some of the suggestions. I first have to say I’m not sure I understand the concept of a Meme. I have loads of throwaway thoughts that could conceivably turn into a post, I just flake out on the follow through. But I digress…on to the real reason for THIS post. One of the Memes for today stem from the comment that “a school PTA group wants to try to ban white bread, cakes, brownies or any other “treat” from their lunch menus… plus make kids’ lunchboxes brought from home not include any “junk food”. Thoughts on that one?”

My thoughts? What a Load of crapola! Don’t get me wrong. Obesity is a real issue and it starts young. I have had food issues since I was five but what I chose to do with them now is on me. I can’t keep blaming my issues on my parents. Now that I have children, raising them with the appropriate habits and values is MY job. It’s not the schools job…my children’s teacher’s responsibility is to keep them safe at school, make sure they have the availability to eat lunch and teach them academics. And in conjunction with my own teaching, they should be teaching my 6 year old’s social skills. But that’s it. If my kid is overweight it is not the schools fault. And who does the school think it is telling me and my child that we can’t provide a treat for a school lunch, especially if I pack my daughter a lunch?

What makes this totally tragic is that it isn’t even the school or the school district. It’s other parents. Parents who are not willing to accept their own accountability in the upbringing of their children, who have a compulsive need to blame their Children’s dysfunction on someone other then themselves. The incessant whining of those who don’t want to believe that Little Mary Lou is pulling Susie’s pigtails just because she is a spoiled brat who has no concept of consequences or boundaries because we are a generation of parents that have grown up getting the hell knocked out of us and we actually have followed through with the old “When I have kids I will never spank/ground/timeout my child.” This is not a bad thing in theory but there is no middle ground. As parents there still needs to be some consequences, some boundaries. That’s how children learn right from wrong.

This kind of went off topic from the big Brother title but I’d love to see if I am the only parent of young children out there that thinks we have done a complete 180 with parental responsibility. So What are YOUR thoughts?

Quick Note from CNN

February 11, 2009

This is just a quick post. I have been slacking horribly. But in my defence, life has happened.

Was cruising around CNN, and came across another story that has me heartsick.

If you have read my meager blog you can already imagine how I feel about this. I’m sending good mojo to the little girl. I have a thought that she will need it more then anyone else.

I will send another post today or tomorrow when I have something more cheerful to say.

Porcupine Meatballs–> Uber-Comfort Food

January 27, 2009

Being that we were due for one of our big food nights…we decided to make a tried and true dish…Porcupine Meatballs.  I have seen a few recipies for this around on the net but this version came to be via my grandmother.  (At the risk of being disrespectful, this is not the grandmother that I was particularly fond of, and I have to say this is probably the best thing to come out of my adult relationship with the woman, but I digress.

Now keep in mind that I cook for a small army… you can safely reduce my recipie by a quarter or a third and still have enough food for the average family of three to four…so this can be an adaptable dish….The basic Ratio is 1 lb of hamburger = 1 cup of Minute Rice= one egg= 2 small cans of tomato soup and water.

With that said, this is how we made it tonight….

We started out with 7.5 lbs of Hamburger…It was on sale and this dish makes killer leftovers..

We put the hamburger into a big honking bowl with 8 cups of Minute rice and 6 eggs.  We added Onion Powder, Pepper, Garlic Salt, Season Salt, ground Sage, and…wait, that’s was it…Okay so basically you season to taste but that’s the basic season mix that we use.  The Sage is a recent addition that my mother and grandmother would not have used, but I got make this my way.

We also added a half of a family sized can of Campbells Tomato soup.  Don’t worry about the other half, it will come into play in a few minutes.

Below is what it looked like mixed up prior to making meatballs.

Okay trust me it will all work out..despite how this looks now…

So once the hamburger et al is mixed, start rolling the meatballs. I tend to prefer golf ball sized meatballs but ever since we have started having the girls help out they range all the way from a ping-pong sized to a small apple sized. This much will make approx 50 meatballs.

Remember that half of a can of Tomato soup we had leftover? Combine that with another 4 large cans of tomato soup and equal parts of water and start simmering that in a huge stockpot. As the meatballs are formed, dump them in the soup mix.


Simmer covered for anywhere from an hour to two depending how many meatballs you have. Make Mashed potatos and serve in a bowl with the meatballs and soup on top.  Season to taste with salt and pepper.




And another week goes by

January 20, 2009

I haven’t had the energy to post for a week. I don’t really have the energy to post tonight but I wanted to do so… We made something for dinner last night with the uncouth name of Fart Beans. Tastes wonderful, but sounds nast.

I’m feeling kind of out of it…My boss told me today that I have been off….Not sure I’m okay with his assesment any more then I am with the fact that he may be right.

Hopefully I’ll have something more meaningful to say tomorrow.