Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Siblings up on high…

August 1, 2009

I was visiting Mary over at OwlHaven and I saw her latest post. It reminded me of how younger siblings can put older siblings up on a pedestal. I think it only happens after you have multi generational children. My son was 13 when the twins were born and I have to admit, with my working, I most likely depended on him way to much with raising them. The boy was a natural at diaper duty though.

The girls still think he walks on water. Thankfully, being in the Corp, he has finally realized this and actually appreciates the position he holds in their lives.

Aiyana, Damian and Caitlyn

It only took 5 and a half years and a year in the USMC.

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Growing up…

July 17, 2009

I am all kinds of confuzzled today….My 19 year old son (who is in the Marines, Semper Fi, thankyouverymuch) had surgery on his wrist last night and I was rather vexed that I couldn’t be there for him.  He was however kind enough to send me a picture message Post-op of himself with the subject of “Well, I’m still alive.”

Sometimes I think I need to thawamp that boys mother for raising such a smart ***.  Then reality kicks in and I realize that I don’t have it in me to thawamp myself.

My precious girls are losing their baby teeth left and right.  Last night my Buggaboo, the youngest of the two girls by one minutes lost her second top front tooth.  I’m not sure who was more upset, her for having to work the tooth out, or me which I looked at her toothless smile and realized that another one of my babies is growning up.  Then she insisted that I take a picture on my phone of her smile to send to the previously mentioned big brother.

I was fine until I woke up at 5 AM this morning and realized that I had gone to bed without exchanging the tooth for the dollar (to show that the Tooth Fairy had shown up and taken the tooth.  Panicked, I snuck in the girls bedroom and carefully made the exchange, all the while trying to shush our toy poodle who seems to think that the bedroom is actually her domain and she just lets the girls sleep there.

Another Childhood Myth disaster averted. 

I was spent.  At 5 AM. 

Oy vey.

 caitlyntwofrnteeth

Parental Accountability….

March 23, 2009

Once Again, this post was inspired by CNN.

There is an article with an excerpt by Jack Cafferty..in any case, the article has Cafferty’s perceptions that parents are not taking responsibility for their children….Wait, let me clarify, they are not accepting accountability for their Children. Here’s a quote:

“Parents’ growing inability to impose manners and limits on their kids when the kids are in school is reflected in record dropout rates, as well as teen drug and alcohol abuse, teen sex, and unwed pregnancies. Maybe it’s parenting that’s on the decline, more than the schools. “

I agree with this. Parents have given up on raising their children with disipline….but whereas Cafferty pretty much chalks this up to “it has to do with the breakdown of authority, the collapse of strong family structure, and the abdication of parental responsibility, dictated in part by the necessity that both parents work.” I believe there is some truth in this, but his point actually makes mine as well.

The reality is that we are a society of extremists. In a matter of 50 years we have gone from corporal disipline in the home to “time outs.” We went from children being un-spared by the rod, to realizing that sometimes parents went overboard and that was abuse, to those children growing up and out of rebellion and out of spite, deciding to do the opposite and go into uber-“nuture” mode and placate their children.

Don’t get me wrong. My dad was strict. My dad went overboard to the point where I had bruises on my backside more often then not. Did I deserve it? Who knows. I didn’t think of myself as a bad kid…but I lack the parental perspective on my kidself. But dad, right wrong or indifferent taught me something about accountability and responsibility.

I know children today in my family that didn’t have that kind of disipline and I do believe that there is a correlation between a lack of disipline and the lack of control and bounderies that most children today have….I’m not saying that beating your kids is the way to go…if you don’t feel right spanking, I’m okay with that BUT you have to counter that with something that teaches accountability.

Cafferty is correct…no child is more special then another. To us, yes they are, but to society? No. I hope that more parents start to understand that we are raising a generation of narsicisstic children who have no concepts of bounderies….What’s funny to me is that when I was growing up as a teen ager and a young adult, all I heard was that corporal punishment only teach violence and that disipline was not the way to go, that it bred devient behavior.

So what does raising a child with no concept of boundries breed?

Parenting is not easy and those pesky kids don’t have the common courtesy to come with an owners manual, but at some point parents have to actually take the time to RAISE their children, not just coddle them. There has to be a middle ground between the velvet glove and the iron fist. The trick is to find it.

Yes, it is possible

March 5, 2009

So even when I slack on updating my blog myself, I never miss visiting Mary over at Owlhaven. The woman is a Goddess on earth, full of humor and wisdom, and she’s probably the biggest reason why I started blogging again. She has managed again to astound me with her time management skills (Yes Mary, it takes skill to keep all of your hair attached to your scalp and live on 2-4 hours of sleep….) and has published a book entitled A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family. If you have children (at all people, you don’t need to have a small country sized family to enjoy the wisdom in this book) at all or are thinking of having children, Run, don’t walk, over to Amazon and BUY THE BOOK!!!!!!

I think my favorite gem from the book is on page 84. “Humor is one of a parents most powerful allies.” My husband has no issues teaching from a point of silliness, even resorting to fart humor to get his point across. Myself, it takes a little work to utilize my dry sense of humor into the appropriate level of silliness to get point across.  But it will work.   Just ask Mary.

Big Brother is watching….

February 12, 2009

So I know that I have been seriously slacking on my posting and I decided to make use of the “Daily Meme” link (it’s the big button over there to the left, yeah that’s the one) on my page and do my very first Meme post. I ended up at Thursday Thunks and started reading some of the suggestions. I first have to say I’m not sure I understand the concept of a Meme. I have loads of throwaway thoughts that could conceivably turn into a post, I just flake out on the follow through. But I digress…on to the real reason for THIS post. One of the Memes for today stem from the comment that “a school PTA group wants to try to ban white bread, cakes, brownies or any other “treat” from their lunch menus… plus make kids’ lunchboxes brought from home not include any “junk food”. Thoughts on that one?”

My thoughts? What a Load of crapola! Don’t get me wrong. Obesity is a real issue and it starts young. I have had food issues since I was five but what I chose to do with them now is on me. I can’t keep blaming my issues on my parents. Now that I have children, raising them with the appropriate habits and values is MY job. It’s not the schools job…my children’s teacher’s responsibility is to keep them safe at school, make sure they have the availability to eat lunch and teach them academics. And in conjunction with my own teaching, they should be teaching my 6 year old’s social skills. But that’s it. If my kid is overweight it is not the schools fault. And who does the school think it is telling me and my child that we can’t provide a treat for a school lunch, especially if I pack my daughter a lunch?

What makes this totally tragic is that it isn’t even the school or the school district. It’s other parents. Parents who are not willing to accept their own accountability in the upbringing of their children, who have a compulsive need to blame their Children’s dysfunction on someone other then themselves. The incessant whining of those who don’t want to believe that Little Mary Lou is pulling Susie’s pigtails just because she is a spoiled brat who has no concept of consequences or boundaries because we are a generation of parents that have grown up getting the hell knocked out of us and we actually have followed through with the old “When I have kids I will never spank/ground/timeout my child.” This is not a bad thing in theory but there is no middle ground. As parents there still needs to be some consequences, some boundaries. That’s how children learn right from wrong.

This kind of went off topic from the big Brother title but I’d love to see if I am the only parent of young children out there that thinks we have done a complete 180 with parental responsibility. So What are YOUR thoughts?